I'm shy and socially awkward masquerading as a social butterfly. I have never been about that on-location-picture-taking life. I've been wanting to take pics across the street. It's esthetically more appealing but I've always felt nervous about people looking at me. Yesterday, I was ready. Getting to the other side of the street is a big deal.
As a kid, I hated to walk alone because I was afraid that someone would say hi to me or look in my direction. There was no salutatory address at my high school graduation because I refused to speak. In college, I was super close to quitting in my final year so that I wouldn't have to give a required presentation. I continued to struggle with shyness and introverted tendencies while in the workforce often tensing up and drawing blanks when conversing with coworkers and clients.
The couple of years have really pushed my limits and helped me push past social anxiety and general feelings of weirdness. I acknowledge the feeling but I don't let it stop me (most of the time).
Trying to push a baby out of my body for 7 hours as strangers watched and/or got up close and personal with my lady bits. Being so "open" made me feel strangely powerful after it was all over. It makes doing regular stuff like walking down a street fully clothed easier. Sometimes, I say hello first!
Another push was putting myself in front of the camera for the blog. I never would have imagined myself doing it. I have insecurities. I WAS a shrinking violet. The more I do it, the more confident I become. I no longer feel so uncomfortable with the way I look or the way I talk. I even say hello to the folks walking in front of my camera. I didn't even think about what they were thinking of me.
Tomorrow I go across the street again. I'll be at SoFabCon meeting a whole lot of new people and in unfamiliar surroundings. Yes! That does scare the bejesus about of me! I know I have made strides though. In the past, I simply would have stayed home.
File this post under random.
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