Stranger Danger | Thriftanista in the City

6.24.2011

Stranger Danger

My soon to be 10 month old is freaked out by strangers. She clings and has to have one of us in her line of vision if there are other people around. If she can't easily get to us then she unleashes the highest pitched scream in her vocal repertoire.

Her Grandmother (His mother) visited with us last weekend. They had never met so I knew Miss V would be apprehensive at first. She never warmed up though. She held her breath every time Mama picked her up. She peeked over over our shoulders at her and give a little shy smile but was on edge for the entire visit. According to Him, she did have a moment of melting at church. She was ready to play and make eye contact but back at home she was back to shy baby.

I hope this isn't a permanent personality trait and just one of those baby things. All the baby book/blog stuff says she will go through this phase. I had conversations with Him pre-baby about making sure we give her lots of people exposure. I figured that would lessen the stranger anxiety. I don't think we've been getting her out there enough.

I was the ornery baby growing up. I never wanted people to touch or look at me. As I got older, I was able to define those feelings as shyness and being introverted. This is an aspect of my personality that I hope will not seep into her.

Is it possible? Can a shy parent make a shy baby? Is my exposure plan of value? What is your experience?

5 comments

Quiana said...

What a timely post for me! I was expecting the fear of strangers that the baby books alluded to with my 10 month old (they say it goes until 18 months), but surprisingly she embraces everyone. So much so that I have to restrain her from reaching out to be held by nearly everyone we encounter.

We went my husband's office yesterday followed by a beer garden with his coworkers, and she wanted to be passed around. I think part of this is because I'm out and about with her so much from the subway, parks and free concerts/events etc. that she gets very curious about everything and everyone. I don't think it's something I deliberately pressed upon her by forcing her to be held by others, but I think it's just her natural curiosity. I'm sure it's only temporary for you!

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I think every baby is different. And no matter what a parent wants, sometimes babies have their own agenda. The good thing is a lot of babies pass through these phases. I say, keep exposing her, even to her distaste. And hopefully she'll show you it's just a phase.

Baby Shopaholic said...

Peyton will go to any Man! Women... she has to feel them out first but then is their bff once she gets to know them!

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

Every time I tell a parent of one of my students, he's/she's shy, mom or dad will say one of the parents was too.

I do think it's somewhat inherited, but then again, sometimes the most gregarious parents have the shyest kids.

Hm.

Mama Violet said...

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

@Quiana you have a social butterfly over there! She is super cute.

@Baby Shopaholic V sometimes warm up. I think she knows the faces of our friends well enough and will allow them to hold her briefly.

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